Be nice to retail employees

I was once a human bull’s-eye.

During breaks from high school and college, I worked at Target. I started as a cashier, and when that became boring and monotonous, I switched to the “Guest Services” desk, a.k.a. the refund counter.

That was not monotonous.

Some people had valid receipts. Some had expired receipts. Some were shocked and appalled to learn they even needed a receipt to get their money back.

Some requested simple exchanges. Some brought back entire baskets of duplicate wedding gifts, spread out among a good dozen or so gift receipts.

Some were excited to learn I could look up their receipts by swiping their credit card. Some failed to realize that if they discarded the tags, I’d have no barcode to scan.

Then there was the week after Christmas.

Probably about 90 percent of customers were in and out, no problem, pleasant as could be.

Another 9.9 percent ranged from mildly to moderately irritable, but they were still basically civil and reasonable.

The last 0.1 percent thought I was the devil. Perhaps the red shirt confused them.

I’ve blocked most of those episodes from memory, but a couple have stuck with me.

One day, a woman wanted to return a bicycle. It was a type that came in a box and required assembly. Still, it cost in the neighborhood of $100 or so.

She had no receipt. I explained the refund policy to her. (Please note: This was years ago. I have no idea what Target’s current policies are.)

I was only allowed to give her store credit in the first place because a manager gave the go-ahead before proceeding on his merry way.

When I told her how much the credit came to, her eyes bulged. That wasn’t what she paid.

I explained that without a receipt, she would have to get the lowest selling price for the item.

She demanded to see that policy in writing.

I pointed to the big sign behind me that said, “All returns and exchanges require a receipt dated within 90 days.”

Her response: “That doesn’t say anything about having to get the lowest selling price.”

I attempted to explain the concepts of “all” and “required” to her. I reminded her about the absence of her receipt—which was, again, required. I politely pointed out that we were breaking from the policy by giving her anything at all.

“Still doesn’t say anything about having to get the lowest selling price,” she said.

It went on like that for a while. I forget the exact resolution, but I somehow did not explode and she left thinking I was a scam artist.

Another time, a teenage girl wanted to return a steering wheel cover. She had none of the original packaging and no receipt.

She simply wanted to exchange it for another style, so I had a plan for her. I told her to grab an identical steering wheel cover in addition to the new one. That way, I’d have something to work with, and we’d be fine.

She returned with a steering wheel cover that not only bore a different design, but was made by a different company.

It turned out the store didn’t carry the brand she was trying to return. I explained that we couldn’t accept brands we didn’t sell.

“That’s stupid. They’re the same thing,” she said.

All steering wheel covers were created equal in her mind, and neither I nor my scanner recognized this fact.

Therefore, I was evil.

On the plus side, I’ve acquired a lifetime supply of humility that ensures I will always be nice to retail employees.